The Confidence Connection: How Better Posture Changes How Others See You
(And why it matters even more heading into the holidays…)
If you’re over 40, you’ve probably noticed this: Bad posture doesn’t just look uncomfortable — it feels uncomfortable.
Your shoulders are round and feel tight, your chest collapses, your back and neck ache, and, without noticing, you start taking up less space in the world.
But here’s the part most people don’t realize: Your posture silently shapes how others perceive you, and how you perceive yourself.
Yes, psychologically, emotionally, socially… even romantically.
And the difference between “invisible” and “irresistible”? Often, it's just a few inches of alignment.
Let’s break it down in a simple, grounded, zero-nonsense way — the way I teach my clients.
1. Posture Is One of the First Things People Notice
Before someone sees your outfit, your expression, or your hair, they see your shape — how you stand, walk, and carry yourself.
Research shows that people with upright posture seem taller than they and are consistently rated as:
✔ More confident
✔ More competent
✔ More approachable
✔ More attractive
✔ More trustworthy
Meanwhile, rounded shoulders and slumped posture signal:
Stress
Low energy
Low confidence
“Don’t look at me” energy
And no, this isn’t about being “perfect.” It’s about alignment that reflects presence, ease, and vitality.
Think about walking into a holiday party, the office, or dinner with friends. Your posture speaks before you do.
2. Good Posture Actually Changes Your Mood and Energy
This part still fascinates me.
Posture doesn’t just influence how others see you, it changes your brain chemistry.
Studies show that upright posture can:
✔ Improve your mood
✔ Boost focus
✔ Reduce stress
✔ Increase feelings of capability and confidence
When your chest opens and your ribcage lifts, your nervous system shifts out of “closed, protective mode” and into “calm, capable mode.”
I’ve seen it with clients over and over: Correct the posture and the confidence follows.
3. Why Posture Gets Worse After 40 (and why it’s not your fault)
By your 40s, you’re dealing with:
Long hours at the computer
Parenting (lifting, carrying, bending)
Driving
Stress
Old injuries
Sitting… a lot
Add tight hips, stiff necks, along with weak glutes, back, and abdominal muscles, and your body starts pulling forward like a magnet.
But here’s the good news:
You can reverse it, faster than you think, when you focus on mobility, strength, and awareness.
Not intense workouts.
Not pushing through pain.
Not “sitting up straight” until your back gives out.
I’m talking simple daily alignment habits anyone can do.
4. The Sexy Side of Good Posture
Let’s be honest for a moment… Posture affects how you feel in your clothes and out of them.
Clients tell me all the time:
“I feel more lifted.”
“My torso looks longer.”
“My chest opens.”
“I look more confident walking into a room.”
“I feel sexier.”
“My clothes fit a lot better”.
Good posture doesn’t just help you feel strong; it changes how you show up romantically and socially.
When your shoulders open and your spine aligns, you naturally project more presence, more ease, more confidence.
I always say: nothing kills confidence faster than pain, stiffness, and poor mobility, and nothing elevates it faster than moving well.
With the holidays coming, you’ll be around coworkers, friends, family, maybe even someone special. Good posture helps you feel like the most grounded, attractive version of yourself.
5. The Holiday Test: Try This for One Day
Tomorrow, try this posture awareness challenge:
Walk into every room — work, a store, a holiday gathering — with:
Feet grounded
Chest open
Ribcage lifted
Hips aligned
Neck long
Slightly drawn navel towards the spine
Keep knees neutral (no hyperextension)
You’ll feel the difference instantly. And others will, too.
People respond differently.
They make more eye contact.
You feel more in control.
More present.
More confident.
Posture is subtle, but the impact isn’t.
6. Ready to Improve Your Posture? Start Here.
Here are 3 simple daily habits I teach to clients over 40:
1. Open your chest for 60 seconds a day
Undo the rounding from screens and stress.
2. Strengthen your glutes, and deep layers of your abdominal and back muscles
Weak core and glutes = collapsed posture.
3. Mobilize your thoracic spine
A stiff upper back is the root of most posture issues.
These small habits build the foundation of your confidence — inside and out.
Final Thoughts: Posture Is Confidence You Can See
Better posture doesn’t just make you look good.
It makes you feel good, stronger, more grounded, and more like yourself.
Heading into the holidays, this is your chance to show up as the most confident version of you.
And remember:
Posture isn’t about “perfect.”
It’s about alignment that helps you move freely, feel lifted, and carry yourself with ease.
Your body will thank you, and so will your confidence.